Help Your Child By Becoming a Problem-Parent

My little girl got a scooter for Xmas.

She is 3 and loves going as fast as she can.

But we had a problem…she couldn’t turn.

Like any parent I immediately gave her plenty of instructions and demonstrations on how to do it properly.

‘Just turn your shoulders’

‘Do it like this’

‘Put your hands there then go like this with your arms’

Nothing worked and she was getting pretty bored of me taking her scooter to demo.

Half an hour went by with no breakthrough.

Then the coach in me kicked in and I remembered what I’d been taught about how children learn best…Give them a problem, let them try to find the solution and offer guidance along the way.

I stopped talking and instead put down one of her toys on the floor.

I pointed to where I wanted her to go and said ‘scooter to there but don’t hit the toy’.

5 minutes later?

She nailed it!

She hit the toy a few times at the start so I asked her a question or two about what she thought she could do with her arms so she could avoid it.

I left her to try and could see the cogs turning in her head.

Then, she got it.

Once she got it once it was like a lightbulb had been turned on and she continued doing it but started getting faster and faster.

And that is the point of the story.

As parents and coaches, we can think we are doing the right thing by giving loads of instructions and telling our children how to do something.But that is not the best way to learn.

Think back to your driving lessons – do you think you learned more when given loads of instructions with no driving time or when you were actually on the road and driving?

For me it was when I had all the other ‘obstacles’ (i.e. cars, roundabouts, cyclists) which then gave me problems to solve in terms of how fast to drive, where to turn etc.

Sure, we sometimes need some guidance and instructions, but the learning occurs when we are given a problem and then have time to solve it.

That will certainly help us learn more deeply than simply being told how to do something.

That learning is then accelerated when you have a good coach or parent offering guidance, encouragement and feedback.

Give it a try with your children.

Become a ‘problem-parent’, provide some obstacles and see how well it works.